Anger Management
by Percabethgirl2645
Summary: Dr. Martinez signs the Flock up for anger management classes. How do they react? Under the characters Max and Fang, but it is whole Flock. Maybe, probably FAX.
1. Chapter 1

A/n This idea just came to me randomly, so I hope it is entertaining.

Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride

**MAX POV**

I can't believe this. Mom just signed the Flock up for anger management classes. Please. We don't need classes. We've only lost control a _couple _of times. And they were for a good reason.

*insert flashback music*

"Max!" Nudge called.

"Yeah?" I answered, searching for a spare can of soup.

"When did you swipe hippie clothes for us?"

I froze. "I didn't."

"Then where did you get these?" Nudge came back into the kitchen, holding a tie-dyed shirt. Several, actually.

Oh, god. Gazzy had laundry duty last. He had been in a coloring explosions phase. Crap.

"GAZZY!" I roared.

"Yeah, Max?" he came in from outside, soot smeared over his nose, his blue eyes wide with innocence.

"Did you leave crayons in the dryer?"

"Maybe. I don't remember."

"OK then. We'll just walk around looking like we came out of the 1960s."

Fang walked in holding his new shirt. "I'm not wearing this."

"Fine," I shot back. "Go in your birthday suit. It's your funeral."

This resulted in a food fight between us, in which Gazzy, Iggy, and Nudge happily decided to join in. All while this happened, Angel nabbed a shirt. She thought it was pretty. The day before I had given her pink crayons. Well, you can see how the next batch of laundry was. Fang was _not _pleased.

*End flashback music*

See? Good reason. Anyways, when Fang found out, this is what happened:

"We're what?"

"Taking anger management classes," my mom answered calmly, watching a batch of cookies in the oven.

Before he got a word in edgewise, she interrupted him. "Yes, you must go. No, you can't get out of it. Don't you think Max asked me these questions already? And Iggy? Nudge? Angel? Gazzy?"

He scowled and went around acting all goth and emo-ish again. **(a/n nothing against goth or emo people)**

The next day was our management classes, after breakfast. It turns out, we each have different sessions, so no Angel to bail us out. Also, Mom forbid Angel form using her powers. Or any of our powers really. She said this to Gazzy, "I don't want to have to get a call from the ER again."

When we got to the recreational center where the classes take place, we learned the teacher's name: Miss Anngar. You know how to pronounce it? Miss Anger. Yeah, you read that right. To save you the trouble, I'm just going to right her name as Miss Anger.

In the waiting room, Mom told us, "Guys, don't anger Miss Anger. She charges an arm and a leg and her policy is to pay up front. So please, do NOT blow this. I'll be back in two hours." She gave us a big group hug and left.

We all sat in that drab, beige waiting room for a couple of minutes until a lady with bright red hair called my name. Great. A red head. "Maxine Ride?"

I growled and walked up to her, "It's Max. Just Max." I took a deep breath. "It's for Mom" was my repeated mantra.

She smiled a little too brightly, and said in a chipper voice, "Right! Well I'm Miss Anger, and we'll have twenty minutes of pure fun! This is an anger free zone!" I smiled stiffly and replied, "Great..."

Twenty minutes of hell more like.

A/n Does it sound good so far? This was just a random idea that popped into my head, so I hope I did it justice. This is going to be a multi-chapter fic. The next chapter will be Max's session with Miss Anger :) and then it will be Fang's, Iggy's, Nudge's, Gazzy's, and Angel's. ** Ideas are** **welcome and appreciated. **Review.


	2. Max

A/n: I don't own Maximum Ride.

**MAX POV**

Miss Anger took me down a long dark hallway. For the time being, she had lost her chipper attitude, and her face seemed to darken. It was almost... ominous.

At the end of the hall, Miss Anger opened the door and led me into- a bright room with painted zoo animals and kiddie toys.

How anticlimactic.

Needless to say, I was stunned. I stumbled down in a small blue chair that reached my knees. One thought ran through my mind: Did we accidentally end up in the Rec Center's daycare?

Miss Anger squeezed into the seat across me and smiled a little to largely for my taste. "So Maxine-"

"Max." I interrupted, over my initial shock.

"Right, well, Maxine dear, I thought we'd start with a little heart-to-heart chit chat."

I stiffened. I am _not _good at the mushy stuff. And would it kill her to call me Max?

"Hmm, lemme think about that, uh, no."

"Now, Maxine-"

"It's _Max_!"

"This is a no anger zone dear," she replied pleasantly. I searched her face. She was clearly not angered yet. Well, that was about to change.

"Now Maxine," she continued pleasantly," because you do not want to talk about you, I think you need a little break. How 'bout some playtime?" She gestured to the bright yellow corner with Pillow Pets, toy cars, and a mickey mouse boom box.

"You're joking."

"Do I look it?"

Uh, yeah. I would've said it out loud, but then I thought of Mom, begging me not to piss this lady off.

I growled, slumped off the chair and half-heartedly moved a yellow car back and forth. Man, if any of the Flock saw me, my street cred would be shot. It would be wrung by its neck, decapitated, its vital organs pulled out of its- sorry. I'm getting a little too descriptive.

"That's right Maxine, dear."

"MAX!"

"Yes, yes. Well, I am just now getting the sense that this might not be your favorite thing," she replied pleasantly.

"JUST NOW?" She didn't even berate me for yelling, thank God.

"Yes, dear. Now, since I know that you are a young woman, and that you probably have feelings for the opposite sex, and-"

"Lady, you aren't going to give me the sex talk before my own _mother _does that!" By now, I had lost all respect for Miss Anger. There honestly wasn't much to begin with anyways.

"No, no, I was not. I was actually going to see if you have an, ah, what to teens call it nowadays? Oh yes. A _crush. _

I began to massage my temples. Was this woman serious? "No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO."

"Yes, because your mother signed a contract." She smiled sweetly at me, and I glared back at her.

I had a mini mental mind battle with myself. Should I seriously talk about my feelings? I mean, who was she going to tell them to anyways? While giving the room a 360 check, I got a good glance at her desk, which was covered with photos of cats. I'm positive that the tabby can keep a secret. Right.

Oh, what the heck. I'm probably not gonna live that long anyways, huh?

**15 MINUTES LATER... **

"So then he kissed me, and I ran away. Again! I don't know why I did it. I am so stupid!"

"Mm hm."

"It's not as if he isn't nice about it! He just, does it, and then I run off. It's like a continuous cycle!"

"Mm hm."

"God, he probably thinks I'm repulsed by the idea of me even kissing him! I don't even know if I do like it. I am so confused!"

"Uh huh."

Just then, I heard a loud BRRRIIIINNNG! "Well, dear, I suppose that was the end of our twenty minute session! Now, bring your brother in, ah, Nick, was it?"

Inwardly, I fist pumped happily. Outside, I, well, I still fist pumped. But I don't think she noticed. So I just admitted my feelings to a total stranger. Weirder things have happened!

I practically skipped out of that room like Angel when Fang got her a pink bunny for Christmas. Again, my street cred would be shot.

When I saw Fang, he looked a little pale. "Nick're you okay?"

He glared at me. He hates it when Iggy or I call him Nick.

"Sorry," I mouthed at him, "cover story."

He was still looking a little sour when Miss Anger called him in. "Nick , sweetie pie, its time for our session!"

I stifled a giggle. Nobody ever calls Fang a "sweetie pie." He shot me a dirty look and trudged through the hallway.

When he was gone, the Flock and I burst into guffaws.

A/n Sorry I haven't updated in a while! I was kind of in a rut. I wanted to make it humorous, but still wanted to keep Max in character. Tell me what you guys think!

If you have any ideas for Fang, that'd be great! He's going to be a tiny bit OOC because you'll be hearing inside his head, and all his thoughts and things.

Review, and thanks for reading!


	3. Fang

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the MR series.

**FANG **

_Sweetie pie. _

She actually had the nerve to call me a "sweetie pie."

I'm sorry, but do I _look _like a sweetie pie to you? Black hair, black clothes, black wings. I'm, like, the avenging angel from hell. Yes, that is sweetie pie material.

Uh, no.

I was pissed when Max's mom signed us up for anger management. Sure. I'm calm, I think I can keep my emotions in check. Most of the time, anyways. But when Miss Anger, or whatever her name was, she had the nerve, the _audacity _to call me "sweetie pie!"

All I had to say was: WTH.

So, I did. "WTH?!" Well, we'll assume that's what I said.

She smiled serenely as she led me down a dark hallway. "Now, now, no bad words, dear."

Dear? REALLY?

Needless to say, I DIDN'T LIKE IT. I didn't like her voice, and I definitely didn't like the ominous hallway. It reminded me too much of the School, the narrow hallways, the mazes that the flock and I had to run through millions of times...

Ugh.

She opened the door at the end of the hall, and a bright yellow light flooded the doorway.

I stepped inside, and my initial thought was, "Oh, my God, did someone just transport me into one of Angel's day dreams?"

There were toys _everywhere,_ and little tables and chairs from Ikea sat in a corner. There was only one escape route. One exit. Only one way to freedom.

I almost wanted to cry.

Miss Anger gestured to the small, plastic, lime green table.

"Come Nick! Sit, and release your inner anger in this positive, judge-free environment!"

Oh, _hell _no.

I sat in lime green chair that poked painfully at my wings, and didn't speak. I just sat there silently and sullenly.

Was I planning to do this for the whole twenty minute session? Why yes, that was Plan A.

Of course that plan failed miserably.

After five minutes of beautiful silence, and my congratulating myself on my excellent war strategy against this class, Miss A. stood up and made her way over to her desk. After rummaging through several files, she pulled out... it looked like... a contract.

"Now, Nick," she said sternly, but with the creepy smile still on her face. "Your guardian, Dr. Martinez, signed a agreeing you would go along with whatever therapy I give you during the session."

I picked at my nails, feigning boredom, when really, I was freaking out inside. "Yeah, but, don't I have to sign that contract too? So, legally, you can't use it against me?"

"Oh, but you did sign it. with the word 'fang' but it is your signature. Dr. Martinez verified it." She slapped the contract onto the plastic table, and I gave it a good look.

"Yeah, good try, but I don't remember signing anyth-oh."

I do remember signing something a few weeks ago...

_"Fang?" Dr. Martinez poked her head through my bedroom door, when I was checking my blog. _

_"Yes?" I replied, barely listening, too busy trying to type and play Angry Birds at the same time. _

_"I need you to sign something for me please," she said smoothly. _

_"Yeah, okay, whatever," I quickly grabbed the pen she handed me, and scribbled out my name._

"Oh, crap."

"Oh, crap, indeed," Miss Anger added with glee.

I gave her a famous Fang glare, which made many Erasers run for their mommies, but she didn't seem fazed at all. Maybe it's because she's used to dealing with moody bird-kids. I don't know. She has talked to Max before.

I gave a large sigh and proceeded to do something I had never done before an adult: give up.

"Fine. What do you want to hear?"

"So... have you been having any hormonal feelings about a certain someone lately, which could cause internal stress and anxiety?"

"I assume there is a confidentiality agreement, yes?"

"Yes."

"Well..."

* * *

"Max has _always _been there for me, and she's my best friend, so I guess I developed feelings for her."

"Yes, go on."

"And then she kissed me on the beach that one time, and I kissed that girl at school, and she went on a date with that butt, Sam I Am, or something. i made the stupid desicion of kissing her, and now, I'm pretty sure she's revolted."

"Mm hm."

"I mean, _what _was I _thinking? _We're practically siblings, she's also always acted like the Mom of the fl- I mean she's always taken care of us, even before Dr. Martinez, erm, adopted us. And _suddenly _I've developed feelings for her? It's like my subconscious decided, "Hey, let's make F-Nick's life a living hell by making him have romantic feelings toward his best friend, and almost-sibling!"

"I see," she said, jotting things down on a yellow notepad. With my raptor vision, I could see where she wrote Max's name, and I tried to sneak a peek, but her arm covered the rest.

Years of being chased relentlessly, hiding in caves, fearing for our lives with the Flock have given me great reflexes. Genetically enhancing them doesn't hurt either. That was why I instantly jumped up from the stiff Ikea chair and snapped into fighting position when the timer went off with a loud _BRINNNGGG! _

"Well, that's all the time we have for today, Nick, and I'll see you again next week!" Miss Anger said cheerfully.

My previous upchuck of feelings had shut off, and I instantly reverted into my silent and sullen self.

Maybe these Anger Management things weren't all that bad.

**A/n: Hey guys! Sorry, I haven't updated in so long, I've had some serious writing block, plus school was really kicking my butt. But finals week is over, and school is also almost over, so maybe I'll have more time to update! **

**Also thank you soooooo much for the positive reviews and the favorites and story alerts. They mean so much to me. I just checked, and it seems it's almost been a year since I published this story on . And I'm just updating the second chapter. Oopsies. If laziness was an Olympic sport paired with eating ice cream, I'd win the gold, every single time. :) Anyways, lots of love to you all, review please!**

**I am also looking for a beta.**


End file.
